Thursday, December 24, 2009

Mercy Fuck

Last night I was online when I came across a profile of a guy I was interested in hooking up with. He lives in a neighbouring city so jumping in the car and going is not always an option. It was early and I had plenty of time to drive out there, play and get back in time to get to bed at a reasonable hour. The thing I liked about his profile is that his cock size was listed as "monster" (bigger than average, above average and large). Based on the pic here, it did look totally magnificent! He said he was 51 years old, 6'1" tall, 200 pounds with a "toned body" (former marathon runner). There were several profile comments from guys he hooked up with who said he had a great cock and was a lot of fun. Okay, all looks good, I said I would be there by 9:00 p.m.
I arrived just before 9. As it turns out, he's probably more like 240 flabby pounds, probably more like later 50's. What was even more difficult is that he has a disability. He said he was in a car accident a few years ago, but it looked to me like he had had a stroke at some point in time. He said he was in a wheelchair for a year while he was in rehab. Now he walks with a cane and the left side of his body appears to be rather paralyzed. His left hand and arm are completely immobile and held at his chest, while the left leg can support him when he walks, though with a lot of difficulty. The moment I saw he had a disability, I had an immediate decision to make: do I leave like all the other assholes have no doubt done, or do I stay and see how things go? Had he told me he had a disability, would I have cancelled or not shown up at all? Is there some obligation to disclose a disability when arranging an anonymous hook-up on the internet? Should a person be defined by their disability?
I'm like most men who are looking for men they find appealing. Though I have a wide range of likes when it comes to men, I also have the same aversion to guys who appear to have a disability or disfigurement (call me a jerk, I am trying to get beyond it). I think all animal species have the same first preference - to plant their seed in a genetically superior and youthful member of their own species. Though females have to take care of whatever genetics her offspring is born with, the male can in most cases just drop his seed and can walk away. Eventually, most males will plant the seed in practically anything when there's nothing else left (just before last call at the bar when time is running out...) Being a little older and not built like an Adonis, I have seen this ageist beauty selection first-hand. If you've ever been to a bathhouse for example, you too have seen sex-partner selection first-hand. A bathhouse that caters to a younger more buff crowd will have the peacocks parading around looking for that partner that is always just a little bit hotter than the hottie interested in him. I've noticed there isn't much hooking up at those bathhouses because everyone is so frustrated by the beauty parade and selection process. A bathhouse that caters to a wider range of guys at all levels of beauty has a lot more action.
So last night, I decided to go with the mercy fuck, also known as the sympathy fuck. We started to kiss and make out, then moved to the bed. Because of his mobility issues, he wasn't able to do very much except lay on his back and enjoy it from that position. We kissed and fondled for a while, then I sucked his cock. I must say I think his pic was morphed because his cock never grew to more than 6 inches, and wasn't particularly thick as the pic would lead you to believe. Certainly not monster material, more like average. He sucked my cock for a while, though he wasn't very good at it. We went back and forth like that for a while, then the action stalled a bit during a break while we started talking. He went into some of his attitudes and beliefs about different cultures, and it was evident he holds some racist opinions. He told me he hadn't had this much fun with a guy in a very long time; most guys he lines up don't show, and he said he really wanted to play with me again in the future. Feeling rather uncomfortable with our conversation, I wanted to leave as soon as possible. I also felt a bit of obligation to go through with the mercy fuck, so I finished him off as best I could. After he shot his load, I was stroking my cock because I needed to cum. Rather than him staying there with me on the bed and enjoying and participating in my moment of pleasure, he got up out of bed to clean himself up paying no mind to my need for pleasure. He threw some tissue at me to wipe myself up after I had cum, then started to dress. I got dressed quickly myself and got ready to depart, at which point he repeated again that he would love to hook up with me again. I wished him farewell and was on my way.
After I had left, I was feeling very conflicted because I had lowered my standards to be with a guy who wasn't on the same wavelength as me when it comes to social attitudes, was very disrespectful of my sexual needs, wasn't all that good at sucking my cock, and whom I had just attempted to make feel really special with some hot man play. He has since been calling my cell phone leaving me messages. Thankfully I live in a different city and can avoid future requests to hook up. I will continue to keep an open mind when it comes to guys with disabilities. I'll just be more able to walk when the chemistry (on all levels) isn't right.

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